One Thing I've Learned...

A funny thing happens when you become a parent, you learn who your real friends are. I can't think of a more simple way to put it. 

When I first learned that I was going to be a parent, one of the many worries in my head were of "losing myself," wondering if I would ever have time for me again. These thoughts were quickly laid to rest, because I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. Being a mom is who I am. I guess you could say I found myself in Kynlee.I realized I had to lose a few things along the way though. 

I lost the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, like sleep, shopping, working out, you get the idea. However, I'm not complaining about losing these things, because everything I have gained, outweighs what I have lost. I would like a little more sleep, but that is a whole different topic I won't bother you with right now. Losing those details, were nothing to losing friends. 

When I got pregnant, I had so many friends that were just as happy as I was. I had friends who would soon be "aunt" or "uncle" to my baby, and I was excited. Excited at the show of love and support. Excited that even though my life would be very different, I had a hope of my friendships not changing.

Boy was I wrong. I quickly realized some people aren't meant to be a huge part of your life, and some people provide more meaningful, lasting relationships than others. I still have a few friends in Boone that I see every once in a while, and I am so grateful for them. I also have those that I grew up with, who will always be in my life, and I have also gained the friendships of fellow mommies, even if I can only communicate with them online, it's still worth it, because they understand a bit more than anyone else.

Some days I don't mind so much, being an only child can sometimes make me a bit of a homebody. On these days, nothing makes me happier than spending time with my Kynlee Bear, and the hubs. Then there are days when I think about all of the good times I used to have with a plethora of friends, and those are the days where I get sad.

I keep reminding myself that I have a completely different life than I used to, and with that will come with different company. I feel like all of this longing for my old circle of friends would go away if I didn't live in Boone anymore, where I'm surrounded by students who don't relate to my lifestyle. I really wish I had a mommy friend up here :(

I did what I could to keep the friend flames burning, but wasn't met with a mutual desire in most cases.. In the end, I'm not resentful. I understand I have a different purpose in life, and some wouldn't be able to keep up with that lifestyle. To the friends who have stuck by my side, thank you, you know who you are, and even though we don't get to see each other often, I hope you all know how grateful I am for a random lunch date, or a quick visit to my apartment. Thank you. I'm also grateful for the handful of mommies whom I knew growing up but now have a link with, or the ones I have met online, and even though we only communicate through the internet, I know they are there to talk if I need to.

Wow! Sorry for such a depressing post! To someone reading my blog, it would seem like I have been sulking lately, I promise I'm not going to go jump off of a bridge anytime soon, just nice to have somewhere to vent!

And I always have this face to cheer me up!