slightly immensely freaking out about this semester.
Now that the first week of classes are over, I have a good idea of what the semester is going to be like: late nights, hair pulling, tears, frustration, nail biting, and praying after each exam for a decent grade.
I was lucky last semester to only have 12 hours, or 4 classes, and I managed to get straight A's, making it on to the Chancellor's list. This semester is just a different story.
I went to pick up my books on Tuesday, and my hopes of making Chancellor's list again diminished with every book she placed in front of me.
Yup, allll of those are mine. That doesn't even include the books that I have to buy, or the one class that doesn't have a book. Yes, you can begin feeling sorry for me now.
I had high hopes for the spring. After I went to my first class, English Literature, my hopes remained stable, even though you wouldn't believe the amount of reading I have to do for this class. Well, you might have an idea if you look at the 3 giagantic books at the top of the stack. But hopes quickly faded after about 10 minutes into my second class, Chemistry II.
I used to looove Chemistry, (that's not weird, is it?) but I took Chem I my freshman year, and I'm now a senior....yeah, the info is all gone.
I cried in the library while I was doing my homework, because I couldn't even remember how to put a number to the tenth power in my calculator, pathetic, I know.
You're probably thinking well that was silly to wait three years to take the second portion of the class. It wasn't my fault!!! App experienced a huge rise in student population, which wasn't met with an increase in Chemistry teachers, so when it came time for me to register, the class was always full.
This went on for a few semesters, until I finally got in, only to have to drop, because I got pregnant. I couldn't take the lab, due to dangerous chemicals.
I was relieved when I was able to register for the class last semester, only having to drop it again, because we didn't have child care, so I had to adjust my schedule.
K is sad too, she would rather play with mommy, than be in child care while I have to go to school....who needs school?
Okay, I do :(
I thought History of Rock Music would be my favorite class, considering I LOVE rock music, but the teacher is sporadic with his lectures, and assumes everyone is a music major, even though its an introductory and general education course.
I do like my Sociology of the Family class, but the teacher warned us that because it is a 4800 level class, she will treat it like a graduate course...awesome. More reading is exactly what I wanted this semester, how did she know?
I sat in the floor last night staring at my books, Baby K, and the messy apartment, wondering how I would manage everything this semester.
Last night, cleaning won over homework, and K always trumps all.
After my initial freak-out and gripe session with the hubs, I realize I shouldn't complain so much. I am very fortunate to be able to continue in my pursuit of higher education, at an excellent university.
I chose to do this. When I found out I was pregnant, I could have dropped out of school, but I didn't. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew it was going to be hard, but I can, and WILL do it.
I can be a straight-A student, a for-the-most-part-excellent-housewife, and a super mommy, because that is what K, and the hubs need me to be. It's also something I know I can be.
If a little extra time goes in between my blog post, then you can probably guess what I am doing: reading, studying, diaper changing, or jumping off of a bridge, you pick.