Thursday, October 28, 2010

I'm still here!

It has been waaay to long since my last post, and I am so sorry! Life has been pretty busy lately, and has kept me from keeping up with the blog, but I wanted to let everyone know I am still here. I know you missed me =)

This won't be a long post because I need to pack for our first family vacation this weekend! But I promise as soon as I get back I will update you on everything that has been going on lately.

Until then, I hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mommy needs sleep...

Kynlee didn't sleep well last night. I think she might be going through a growth spurt, because she usually wakes up to eat only once at night, but she woke up three times last night. Sometimes I wish I wasn't nursing so Corey and I could share the feeding duties, but since I'm pretty sure Corey doesn't lactate, I'm the one that has to stay up while she eats.

Needless to say, I am exhausted. She would pick a day that Corey has to work to stay up all night. When he got home from school, I was able to take about a 2-hour nap, but if it's possible, I felt worse than before I laid down.

Sleep is probably the thing I miss most about not being a parent. I hope to get acquainted with it again one day, but knowing my luck, I'll probably start getting a lot of sleep by the time we have our second child, and have to stay up at night again.

So I feel like death, and I'm probably going to hit the sack as soon as Corey gets home from work.

On a lighter note, I feel the need to share how things panned out with the argument we had last night. I mentioned how we hadn't said anything to each other in two hours. It's actually pretty funny how the first word was spoken. We live up on a hill, where we can see all of Boone, and last night someone decided to shoot off a random firework, and Corey laughed and asked if I saw it. I know, I know, I was supposed to be the bigger person, admit my mistake, and apologize first. I will next time I promise!

We talked things over, and I think we came up with a pretty good plan. When I am keeping things to myself, he likes to try to get them out of me, but that just makes me angrier. So we made a promise to each other, if that happens again, he will try his best to let me cool down, if I promise to talk to him about it when I'm ready.

We both feel this is the best solution to our problem, and if it doesn't work, we will figure something else out. At least we're being mature enough to realize we both have flaws, and we try to find a way to make it work for our relationship.

Maybe if i had more sleep, arguments would be few and far between...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Mommy is Teething!

Lately I have been a colicky, fussy, newborn mom. Apparently as soon as Kynlee started to have calmer nights, mommy's claws came out.

It may come as a surprise to you, but married couples fight! Hubs and I had a fight tonight. Don't worry, we're still married, but it's definitely something we don't do very much. I can honestly say we never fought when we were dating. We might have gotten irritated at some points, but Corey was great at never showing his anger at me if he was mad.

Because we have never had a fight, it was a shocker to me what marriage and parenthood can do to a couple. We still love each other with every piece of our heart, but that doesn't stop doors from slamming, or tears being shed sometimes.

My pride stands in the way a lot. It makes me shutdown, and not want to talk about what is going on. I grew up as an only child, and had no one to talk to when I got angry, and that carried over into adulthood. I've never been good at discussing my feelings, and marriage is teaching me that I need to be doing the exact opposite of that.

What we were fighting over doesn't matter. What's important is that we're both seeing sides of each other we haven't seen. I've been stressed, angry, and passive. Corey has been trying so hard to be understanding, and I love him for that, but I can tell it gets to him sometimes. I don't think we have said a word to each other for the past two hours. This has never happened before.

I've been so tired and stressed lately, and it just got to me tonight, but I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. This is a public declaration that I will try to start airing my thoughts better than I have been. I don't want the stress of being new parents to ruin our relationship, so I need to start being fair to him.

Like I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of pride, and that is exactly what is keeping me from being the first one to talk. Right now I can't even remember how this all started, but my stubbornness will not subside. I guess it's time to be bigger than I usually am and apologize, because we have made a promise to never to go bed upset.

So wish me and my pride good luck as we try to better ourselves.

Monday, October 4, 2010


So I was just participating in my usual facebook stalking, and I found myself reminiscing about life before mommy hood. Just to add a disclaimer, before anyone jumps to conclusions, I wouldn't change anything about where my life is right now. I love my little family, and I know it's what I am supposed to be doing. But after looking at old photo's, and at my friend's profiles who used to be a big part of my life fairly recently, it kind of makes me miss how things used to be. I remember only months ago sitting around my apartment with friends, going out, and goofing off, or even just being a lazy bum and laying in bed watching TV all day. Things changed so dramatically, and I wish I had savored it more before Kynlee arrived. Being a mom is awesome and very fun, but it's also hard and doesn't allow a lot of free time with friends, or by myself. If I'm not careful I start to think about things too much, and get a little sad. I don't spend much time with my friends anymore, and I haven't had a full night's sleep, or more than a few hours away from parenthood in months, that's enough to get anyone down. But then I remember that while my friends have less worries, and time do things for themselves, I have something even greater which is my daughter. I wouldn't trade her for anything...maybe except for a margarita, KIDDING! It would be great if I knew people in Boone who had children. The only women I knew were in my prenatal exercise class, but the youngest was probably 29, and all have to busy of lives to be friends with a college student. It would be nice to have someone to hang out with who goes through the same things. But I love my daughter, and I love watching her grow. This adventure is really hard sometimes, but like I said, I wouldn't change it for anything. Maybe one day I will have something happy to share on my blog =)

Friday, October 1, 2010


This past week has been pretty awesome because Corey had 4 days off, so we got to spend a lot of family time together. But as we know, all too well, all good things must come to an end. So now I'm sitting at home, very bored. I know, bored isn't usually a word in a mother's vocabulary. But Kynlee has been a sleepy baby tonight, I don't have any school work to do, and for once the apartment is clean! So I figured I would give everyone an update!

 When I found out I was pregnant, I tried finding some resources through the school that would make things easier. The only help I found was through the Women's Center, who offered free pregnancy testing. Please, I can get a test from Wal-mart (which I had already taken 6 before I found out about the free ones on campus!) So pretty much they tell you that you're pregnant then send you on your way. I think I did okay though, with the exception of a difficult teacher who made it her point to tell the class that having babies is the best way to ruin a marriage. Before you ask, yes, she knew I was pregnant. I told all of my teachers at the beginning of the semester, in hopes that they would be understanding if a situation ever came up and I couldn't be in class. Ironically enough I had to take a marriage and family relations course that semester, and the teacher enjoyed watching me suffer as she made fun of pregnant women. I would sit there silently as the rest of the class burst out in laughter at her jokes, because none of them knew I was pregnant. Well, things became even worse when I actually had my daughter. We have been on waiting lists for childcare since January, and still haven't gotten in, which has caused me to drop a class, potentially setting me behind in graduating. You would think that the campus would offer some sort of childcare designated for students, because they want you to stay in school.  Of course, I can't be that lucky. I wish I knew who to talk to, so I could make the school aware that there is a need for these resources. Well, even though I don't know how to get my school to help people, I was hoping that I could help young women who find themselves in this situation. Can I just say I have been watching Jersey Shore so much lately that every time I hear the word Situation, I can't help but think of Mike's abs haha. Anyways, I have been toying with the idea of writing a book about how to survive college through pregnancy and motherhood, because I want people to know that yes, it will be hard, but with the right help, and motivation, it is possible. I've been making excuse after excuse to put off writing the book. The biggest one being that I had no clue how to get it published. Well, my public speaking class took care of that. I had to give a speech on how to get a book published last week. Life can be so ironic huh? Well, now that I know how the process works, I guess I have no more excuses, except time maybe. But even if I set aside 20 minutes a day, it will get done eventually. So maybe since I am so bored tonight, I will get started on an outline. I really hope this works out, I think it would help a lot of young women. I just have to keep motivated. So wish me luck everyone!


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