Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions!

2010 has been a good year to me, I'm almost sad to see it go. But since I can't stop time, I have to embrace that a new year is upon us. I think it's safe to say that 2010 has been my favorite year by-far, and I don't see how 2011 can get any better, but then I remember Baby K will be getting older, and cuter (if thats possible), and will be blossoming into a smart young toddler. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for me and my little family.

Every year I come up with the same resolution, to lose weight! Come on!! It never happens. The gyms are always so packed right after New Years, and I've decided I won't be one of those people. Instead, I wanted to make a list of things I want to accomplish this year, some big, some small, but ALL attainable.

I'll probably give this list it's own page, so I can cross everything off as I complete them, because I will complete them!

Things to accomplish in 2011:

Organize all of my photos on the computer.

I will cook a meal for the hubs (isn't it sad that this is a resolution?) Eventually I want to cook on his nights off which is usually twice a week.

Make all A's...again :)


Learn more about photography, and do a photoshoot with someone that is not my baby :)

Teach Baby K how to walk.

Train for a 5K

Run a 5K

Learn some more html.

Learn to sew, or knit, or both!

Hopefully get jobs, and find a nice hometown to live in.

Go on a vacation with the hubs.

Take K on her first beach trip.

Throw Baby K the best first birthday!

Add homemade artwork to our apartment or home. (Working on this one right now!)

Stop nagging the hubs so much.

...And I know this sounds so cliche for a New Years resolution, but I will lose the baby weight! The only reason this is even a resolution is because the gym I belong to is through the school, which isn't open when school isn't in session. So I can't work out until school starts back, which is in the New Year. Also, K will be in childcare next semester so I will have time to work out.
      I think I should re-write this one... I have already lost the baby weight, I did that in the first 3-4 weeks. I actually weigh less now, than I did before I was pregnant (well maybe not NOW that I've eaten my weight over Christmas.) I want my pre-baby body back. I know it won't be the same, but I hope to slim down some more.

Start my book. I'm writing this on here, because I want to be held accountable for it. I will write my book!

Be a better friend.

I will try to be more organized around the apartment.

Can't promise that I will stop procrastinating, but I will try to cut back on it.

Start meal planning.

Try not to hold as many grudges.

Make my blog even better, and reach a bigger audience!

Stop complaining so much...out loud.

See my Boone friends more, before moving away.

Print pictures of the fam off. I'm really bad at never printing off photos.

Catch up on Dexter.

Stop going to bed so late.

Not wait until the last minute to do homework, or study for a test.

Try to spend less time on the internet/Facebook.

Show the hubs I appreciate him more often.

I have a lot more things I would like to accomplish, but I can't think of everything right now. Like I said, I willl give this list it's own page and I will check them off as I do them!

I thought this was going to be a crappy New Years, because the hubs has to work, and I am in Boone alone. I imagined watching Dick Clark's Rockin New Years, then giving Baby K a kiss at midnight. The hubs always has to work on New Years! 

Now, it's not going to be such a bad night. I'm actually looking forward to it. My sister and brother-in-law are heading up here today to spend the night with us, which should be a good time! The hubs and I are going on vacation in 3 months, and my mom has offered to watch Baby K while we are gone, so we decided we needed to start "practicing" being away from her. So in a few hours my mom is going to meet me halfway between Boone and Asheville, and I'm giving her K to stay the night :(

I'm excited about having a baby free night, but this is the first time she is staying the night somewhere else. I am so nervous and sad, but I know she will be in good hands. It's going to be so weird being able to sleep all night, and wake up whenever I want, but I'm already looking forward to picking her up tomorrow :)

Hope everyone has a great New Years, and if you have resolutions, good luck, and I hope you accomplish what you want to do!

See you in 2011!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Somebody has been crafty!

Now that Christmas is over, I can post some of the gifts I made. There are some people who still haven't received their gifts, so those will fall into a later post. 

This is the first time I have attempted to make yarn wreaths, but I think they turned out pretty good, and I am proud of them.

If they look rough, and amateur, it's because they are! 

I can't wait to show everything else I have made, but in case the recipients are reading my blog, then I will have to wait. 

The hubs and I are also working on a decorating project for the dining room wall. I can't wait until that is finished, I think you will like it!

Now we just need some dining room chairs...yeah, I'm not kidding. We have a table we bought for $50, but still don't have chairs!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

K's First Christmas!

Now that the presents are opened, the food is eaten, and good times were had, I can honestly say this Christmas was very high up on my list of favorites. Not just because it was Baby K's first Christmas, it was just a great Christmas.

Now that I'm married, and have in-laws that live 3 hours away from my family, I have to choose where to spend the holidays. We spent Thanksgiving in Asheville, with my family, so Christmas was spent with the in-laws.

Even though I've been with the hubs for years, this was our first Christmas we spent together, which made this year even more special.

Since money is a little tight, and Baby K isn't really old enough to know what is going on, we didn't get her anything for Christmas. That makes me sound like a bad parent, but that is just another way we can save our money. Don't worry, she wasn't left sitting in the corner, while the rest of us opened gifts. Her biggest gift was her high chair, and I loooove it!

...and she loves it too! Even though she isn't really eating solids yet, we discovered she loves sitting up and playing with her toys...or kitchen utensils.

...see, no reason to buy tons of gifts when you have measuring cups!

She did get a few more toys to chew and drool over, this one being her favorite...

...but it feels extra yucky after she has been chewing on it for a while....and then she got money, almost more than we got.

The downfall of living in a small college town, is half the population is made up of students, most of which leave for Christmas break, turning it into a ghost town. While Corey has been at work, I've been busy spending my time alone with Kynlee, with nothing to do. Not that I saw my friends all the time during school, but at least I had adult interaction during class.

Beacuse all I have to talk to is a child, I have had a difficult time distinguishing from "adult-talk" and "baby-talk." I find myself grinning at the cashier at Wal-Mart, and talking to her they way I do to Kynlee. Needless to say, I have enjoyed being around other adults! I also enjoyed spending time with my new Sister and Brother-in-law, and niece and nephew.

...Sorry Ben, I know you tried to jump into a picture too, but your head was a little blurry haha, at least your eyes were open!

Biggest shocker of the week? I enjoyed the white Christmas we had. I know, who am I, right? I have decided Christmas is the only day of the year that I will tolerate cold weather and even snow. It was beautiful, and made the day more special.

Even though I have doubled my weight, and barely fit into my jeans, I had a great time. Our first Christmas as a family was simple, and that made it perfect. We got back to Boone yesterday, and we're enjoying the down-time we have before the new semester starts.

Now if we could get the apartment clean, everything would be just peachy! (Sorry Laura, that doesn't mean taking down the Christmas tree just yet, party pooper ;)...Here is a picture just to show you what you have to look forward to when you get here Friday!)

Hope everyone else had a great Christmas as well!

I was going to blog today, but...

I was planning on sharing Baby K's first Christmas, but this happened when we got back to Boone...

Disclaimer: It never gets this bad! This is the result of coming back from Christmas, only to repack a few things from our bags for another night away.

Hopefully I can get everything straightened up so I can get back to my blog!

Thursday, December 23, 2010


Christmas is coming up in a few days, so i think i will take this time to enjoy it with the fam.
it is our first family Christmas after all!

i will be back to the blogging world in about a week. i hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


yesterday/last night was UH-mazing!
why you ask? that's a good question, i will tell you!

baby k was the best baby yesterday and last night. as you can see from yesterday's post, the hubs and i were pretty worn down from the rough two nights we had. i never thought i would be happy to have her in childcare, but it was a nice break to relax while she was gone yesterday and early afternoon.

when we went to pick her up she was napping in her crib, and didn't move a muscle when i picked her up to put her in the car seat. i assumed since she hadn't had any sleep the night before, she would sleep all day and have a hard time going to sleep at night. 

she was the happiest baby when she finally woke up. we played, she entertained herself while i finished making gifts, and i can proudly say she is now taking all naps in her crib. 

night time was approaching and we were starting to wonder how the night would go. the hubs rocked her to sleep with a paci around 11 and laid her down in the crib. we knew she would be getting hungry soon so we weren't going to be completely shattered if she woke up in the next hour. 

she did in-fact wake up around midnight, but i was still hopeful, so i fed her then tried to lay her back down. alas, there would be heartbreak when we laid her down only to have her wide awake and giggling in the crib. even though she was wide awake the hubs and i agreed laughing was better than the crying we have grown used to. 

we decided to let her stay in the crib as long as she was happy, so we turned on her mobile and hoped she would continue to entertain herself. 

then came the miracle...about 10-15 minutes later, baby k, the baby who refuses to go to sleep, was asleep, and she got that way all by herself!!! 

the hubs and i did a happy dance. no, seriously, we danced, and high-fived. we defeated the restless little monster, and it felt oh-so-good, and sooo rewarding! 

it gets even better. we didn't hear a peep out of our little love bug until 5am, then she happily ate and went back to sleep until 11am! yeah, you read that right, 11!  

this was a blissful day in the world of parenting. i was so in love with my k-bug this morning after having a restful night. i can't believe she put herself to sleep, i am one proud momma. i only hope she continues this awesomeness tonight.

wish us luck!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


to say that the last two nights have been miserable would be an understatement.
i feel like i could create a blog just about baby k's sleep habits, it would be titled "baby k: a sleep saga."

k will go a week sleeping great, then she will have a bad week, but the last two nights were like nothing i have experienced before. 
usually no matter how bad she sleeps we never have a problem actually getting her to bed. we'll give her a bath, then feed her and lay her down, and she goes right to sleep. she might not stay that way long, but she goes to sleep.
we actually have it down to a schedule were we lay her down at 11:30 which is a huge improvement for us!

now comes the reason for this post: i haven't been this tired since baby k's first few weeks of life. it's been a struggle getting her to bed. she'll cry and cry, and all we can do is walk her around or rock her. rocking her and giving her a paci will finally put her to sleep, so we'll lay her down only to have her wake up anywhere from 5 seconds, to an hour later, i always hope for the latter. 

usually when she wakes up from a nap she is happy and smiling, but when she has woken up the past two nights she is so angry, so i know she is still tired. 

we have been really good about making her sleep in her crib, but the past two nights we have resulted to laying her down in-between us in our bed so we could try to get her to sleep with a paci. here is the worst part: when she slept with us last night she only woke up once, but i get a sleepless night making sure she is ok. i'm almost desperate enough to crawl in her crib with her. 

today is the first day i have been happy to have baby k in child care. because i stayed up with her last night, corey volunteered to take her to child care so i could sleep in, and boy did i sleep in. i slept until 2, and i wouldn't have woken up if we didn't have to take our books to campus then pick kynlee up. 

i have literally been in my pj's all day.

i know there are several reasons why she could be having trouble sleeping. even though more sleep would be great for me, i want her to sleep so she will be rested, i wish i knew what i could do to help her. 

in the mean time i will stay in my pj's and hope for a better night.

{i look so happy for having a sleepless night}

Monday, December 20, 2010


things you should know about me:

i'm a young college student, mother, and wifey.

i can cook, but i choose not to because i loathe it.
i write down hundreds of recipes because i want to be a good cook, but i get too lazy

i love Christmas decorations.

i'm a die-hard harry potter fan.

even though i'm 22 i still get scared of thunderstorms, and wind.
my biggest fear is being in a tornado.

i hate being alone.

my husband makes a better housewife than i do.

i let the laundry pile up a little too high before i get everything washed.

i love being crafty, but most of the time i am too lazy to get anything done. 

i hate driving. 

i preach a lot of about healthy eating, but don't follow my own rules a lot of the time.

i could've lost the baby weight a long time ago.

i can go a record long time without shaving my legs.

i'm the worst back-seat driver.

i can be the laziest mom.

i wish i could be a better friend sometimes. 

i hate making people wait on me.

i hate snow

when baby k is being sweet and cute i want three kids, but when she is being fussy i only want one. 

sometimes i worry that i am doing everything wrong as a mother. 

i love picking dry glue off my fingers.

i have to sleep with some noise, like a fan.

i hate when the hubs sings the words to a song before you hear them in the song. 

i'm scared that i'm going to fail at a photography, despite the passion that i have for it. 

i have a fear of being disliked.

i miss some of the friendships that i have lost. 

i can hold a serious grudge. 

i love that my husband is over a foot taller than me.

i hate taking showers, especially in the morning.

corey is my gay bestfriend and my husband all in one :)
(because he is the best shopper i know, and can pick out the best clothes for me!)

i could sit down and watch america's funniest home videos all day.  

despite what most people think my favorite music is hard-rock/metal.
favorite band is metallica, and i'm seriously in love with james hetfield. 

hello my name is courtney, and i'm addicted to caffeine free diet coke. 

i can't wait until i have my last child so i can get a tummy tuck.

i can go from acting like a grown-up to acting like a complete child within a matter of seconds. 

i'm in love with ellen degeneres, and i write her a billion letters to get on her show, but i guess she doesn't love me back :(

i'm one of the worlds pickiest eaters...seriously, i ordered a tomato basil pasta without the tomatoes one time. 

i would rather the hubs not clean up my things because if im going to be messy, at least i know where my stuff will be. 

i hate my legs. 

i loooooove chocolate milk.

i can't pop ice cubes out of the tray because it makes my knees buckle and my skin crawl. the hubs has to do it for me while i'm in the other room. 

i hate my hair.

i could seriously go on for days. i might just have to do a second blog post in the future. 
this post was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers little miss momma.

so what should i know about you guys?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I have a pretty awesome husband...

And this is why...

Love you hubs :)

A not so restful night...

Kynlee is finally down for a nap! What a day...

I have had a not so happy baby today. I've also had a baby who isn't into the whole sleeping at night thing anymore. Baby K used to be such a good sleeper. We would lay her down around 11pm and she would put herself to sleep, wake up once to eat, then be up for the day around 9:30am. 
Ah, those were the days...

Lately I've been laying her down with no problem, only to have her up an hour later either wanting to eat, or having trouble staying asleep. After a battle to get her back to sleep, she will be up every 2-3 hours to eat just like it was daytime. 

I have a few theories, and I hope to put an end to this madness:

Theory #1:  Much to my dismay, Kynlee has become a tummy sleeper. 

One of the methods to prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is to have babies sleep on their backs. I always lay her down on her back, but she automatically rolls on her side, then she proceeds to her tummy within an hour. 

There is nothing I can do to stop her, this is just the way she prefers to sleep, so I have done everything I can do to provide a safe sleeping environment for her. No blankets, stuffed animals to suffocate on, and not putting her in clothes that will be to warm for her. 

Sometimes she will fall asleep with her arms tucked underneath her. I'm wondering if maybe her arms are "falling asleep" on her, and the tingling sensation is waking her up. I only wonder this because when she wakes up she is furious. When she used to sleep on her back she never woke up so upset. So this is my first theory. 

Theory #2: She wakes up because she is legitimately hungry.

I haven't seriously started her on solids yet. There isn't really a reason, I just haven't. Babies can start solids anywhere from 4-6 months when they can hold their head up and seem eager to eat. 

Kynlee's been able to hold her head up for months, but honestly I'm so overwhelmed with how to feed her, I was just going to wait until her 6-month check-up and ask the doctor how to do it. 

I don't know how much to feed her, when to feed her, and if I should take away a bottle or nursing session in place of solids. 

I've fed her rice cereal before just so she could get used to it, but it hasn't become a routine yet. 

I'm wondering if she isn't getting enough to eat during the day with just milk, so maybe if I start following a set solids/milk routine, she will feel full enough to sleep through the night again. 

There is no way I can control her arms falling asleep on her, but I can control her tummy. So I'm going to try to read up on introducing solids to a baby, and hopefully we can get her sleeping again. 

If anyone has tips to share, that would be great!

Friday, December 17, 2010

A Baby Story.

I can't believe Kynlee will be 6 months old in a few short weeks. Time has gone by so fast since our pumpkin graced us with her presence. With Kynlee's half-birthday quickly approaching, it brings back memories of the day she was born.

I felt the need to re-visit her birth story, because I don't feel like I shared that day properly in one of my first posts. 

I remember this day like it was yesterday, because it feels like yesterday. This might get a little lengthy, or some might find it boring. Feel free to move on, but this was an important day for my family, and I felt the need to have it documented somewhere:

I had moved to Asheville for the summer because there weren't any doctors in Boone accepting patients at the time, and my mom had a place for me to live, and I could go back to the same job I had been working for four years. Corey and I didn't want to be away from each other, so he transfered to the Outback in Asheville and lived with me at my mom's for the summer, so everything worked out nicely.

I was the manager at the Black Mountain Pool, like I had been for a few years, and I was planning on taking my leave starting July 9th. I wanted to have a couple weeks of nothing but relaxation before my due date on July 21st, but Kynlee had other plans for me. 

my baby bump at 35 weeks.

Corey decided he wanted to take a trip home to spend time with his family before we became parents, and wouldn't be able to travel as often, so he was in Dobson for the night, which is about thirty minutes outside of Winston-Salem. We joked that I would go into labor the one time he decided to go out of town, but we still had 3 weeks so we thought we would be fine. 

That was the first night we had spent away from each other since being married, so I was pretty bummed, but I figured a good book and a bath would cheer me up. Something was a little off that night, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. While I was in the bath, I was having what felt like very mild period cramps, but I passed them off as Braxton-hicks contractions.  I didn't really know what contractions felt like, I just assumed from movies I've seen, or stories I had heard, that they would hurt, so I would know.

I went to work the next day, still feeling like something was strange, so around 3pm I finally decided to give my doctor a call. I described to her what was going on, and she said to go ahead and come in just to get checked out.  Corey was on his way home at this point, so when I called and told him I was heading into the doctor, I think he broke a few speed records to get home in time to go with me. 

Corey packed a hospital bag before we went to the doctor just in case, but I didn't really feel the need to. I had a faint idea that I might be having this baby sooner than expected, but I put it in the back of my head, thinking there was no way I was having her that soon. 

After getting checked out by my doctor we found out that apparently my water had broken the night before. I was shocked! The movies make the water breaking so dramatic, with the woman looking shocked and wide-eyed, looking at her husband saying "honey it's time," then rushing to the hospital to arrive just in time. That was so not what happened with me!
 I wasn't dilated at all, so we agreed that I needed to go to the hospital and get induced to prevent any infections to Kynlee since it had been almost 24 hours since my water had broken. I believe I was in shock, because I remember asking if I needed to let my other manager know that I wasn't coming into work the next day. Of course I wasn't going to work the next day, I was having a freaking baby!

Corey called everyone letting them know to get ready while I was still in shock, or amazement, or excitement, I really can't tell. All I knew was that moment made it all real. That was the moment I realized that I had a baby inside of me, and she was going to be in my arms very soon. 

I didn't have a bag packed for the hospital because I thought I still had time to do that, so I just got a few things and figured my mom could bring the rest of it later. I did however shower and shave my legs. Come on people I worked outside all day, and I didn't want to be nasty when I got there. 

We arrived at the hospital around 7:30pm on July 1st, and our room was ready and waiting for us.

{Ignore the pregnant fat-face, as I referred to it}

I knew all along that I would have to be hooked up to an IV. I kept telling Corey that's what I was scared of the most, because I hate needles! It's not the pain I'm scared of, because I have a very high pain tolerance, but it's the needle itself. The thought of being stabbed with something makes me sick to my stomach. Luck wasn't on my side that night because it took 3 nurses and 2 IV specialist to finally get an IV in a vein. I begged them to let my mother-in-law do it because she is a nurse and she has done all of Corey's IV's, but it was against their hospital policy. 

If you're counting the bandages, thats 5 in the picture. I had 2 more before they got it right. I was so weak from this ordeal, again not from the pain, but the idea of being stuck with a needle seven times. I wish we had a picture of them sticking me while I had a wet washcloth behind my neck and on my forehead, with Corey holding my hand. 

They hooked me up to two incredibly uncomfortable monitors, one for my contractions, and one for Baby K's heart rate. These things were ridiculous. They're huge and they are strapped on with a velcro waistband that doesn't stay in place very well on a pregnant tummy. Every time I moved, the nurse, or myself had to find Kynlee's heartbeat again. At first I didn't have the cordless kind, so I was hooked into a machine, that I had to unplug every time I needed to go to the bathroom, which is a billion times when you're 9 months pregnant. Not to mention, the monitors make the already un-flattering hospital gown even more unflattering.

{These are very unflattering, but a good representation of the monitors, and ugly gowns. No, I am not that large! If you look closely, you can see two monitors poking out.}

I have had a history of sleep problems, and I wasn't expecting this to change for my first stay in a hospital bed. Luckily the nurse was kind enough to hook me up with some sleep medication, which made me drowsy before my head even hit the pillow. Well, that lasted for all about 10 minutes before I was wide awake, and I remained that way for hours. I was only experiencing minor contractions, but they weren't enough to keep me awake, I just couldn't sleep. The heart monitors didn't help the comfort either.
Sometime around 4 am the nurse came in to find me awake so she offered another dose of sleep medication. Again, I got drowsy before my head hit the pillow, and again 10 minutes later, I was still wide awake. 

Luckily Corey was able to catch some shut-eye, and my mother-in-law slept in the waiting room, and my mom went home for the night. Everyone got sleep but me, and I needed it the most. Despite having the strongest sleep medication offered for pregnant women, I got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep total, so I was exhausted come morning time. 

The doctor checked to see my progress around 8am the next morning. I was hoping after being on pitocin for 12 hours I would have dilated a little, but no such luck. Because I had been ruptured so long, they kicked up the pitocin some more to try and get the labor started. 

I had planned on getting a pedicure during my two weeks of relaxation, and I was super bummed that I had ugly toes when we got to the hospital. But, I have an awesome husband. No need to explain, just look at the picture.

That's right ladies, be jealous! (Notice the ugly swollen pregnant feet)

Throughout the day, I still wasn't feeling any contractions. The only time I felt them was when I laid on my side. But even though I wasn't feeling them, the monitor showed that I was clearly having them.

4 pm was coming up, and that would mean that my water had been broken for 48 hours, which was starting to get a little dangerous for Kynlee.

The word C-section kept popping up in the back of my mind the whole day, but I kept trying to push it out (no pun intended) because I didn't want to accept it.

After being checked one more time, I hadn't even dilated 1 cm. I knew what the doctor was going to say before the words even came out of her mouth. As soon as she walked out to get things prepared, I started bawling. This wasn't the way things were supposed to go. I was supposed to have this perfect delivery that I had imagined for 9 months. In every pregnancy book or website I read, I always skipped over the c-section chapters because I knew it wouldn't happen to me.

I didn't have time to stay upset long because my surgery was scheduled to begin at 5pm. We said a little prayer, and then they got me prepared and wheeled me off to the operating room.

To say I was scared would be an understatement. Being scared of needles seemed like a tiny detail at this point. I was about to have someone open me up, while I was awake for the whole thing. 

The operating room is not a friendly place. It's intimidating. Think of any doctor show you've seen, it's just like on the TV. Everything was white, and sterile, and unwelcoming. There were about 15 faceless people behind surgical masks, all whom were trying to be friendly, but it didn't help much. Corey wasn't allowed to come in with me while they prepped me. 

When a vaginal birth was still optional, an epidural was never not an option for me. I thought I would try to go without one, then get it if I needed to. I kinda wished I had that option at that point, because now I was looking at getting a spinal block which would completely numb me from my belly-button to my toes. I didn't even try to look around for the needle because I knew if I saw it then I wouldn't be able to go through with it. They gave me a numbing shot first which only felt like a bee-sting, and I didn't look at it so I was fine. 
However, after I got the spinal block, my body started to feel strange. I can only compare it to getting numbed at the dentist. As I lay on the table waiting for the feeling to go away I started to get really nervous and freak out, but then my knight and shining armor walked through the door to make me feel better. 

Corey was able to make me laugh because he looked so funny in his surgical outfit. He had shorts on, so it looked like he didn't have anything on underneath his gown. 

Corey was awesome, he calmed me down, holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be ok. 

The doctor told me he was going to poke around my body, and I had to tell him if I felt anything. The first time he poked me I started to freak out because I felt it, and I didn't want them to cut anything on my body if I still had feeling, but after a few seconds I didn't feel the second round of pokes. 

Then it was time. This was a time in my life where I was most vulnerable. I was scared, anxious, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I knew no matter how horribly scared I was, I was going to have my baby girl as a result. There was no turning back.

The next few minutes were a blur. I remember a lot of tugging, and pressure, and holding Corey's hand. I remember at one point asking how much longer, and I got a response of about 15 seconds. I couldn't believe how fast it went by. 

Those were the strangest 15 seconds of my life. They were long, but passed too quickly at the same time. They were the last 15 seconds of my life that I wasn't a parent, that it was just me and Corey. I went through a list of expectations, anxieties,  and fears, all within a quarter of a minute.... Then I felt a big tug, and I heard a cry...

That is something I can't describe. I really don't even know how to put into words the emotions that are enflicted within you when you hear your child cry for the first time. I don't even feel like I could do that moment justice by trying to explain it to you, so I will leave it for you to hopefully find out one day. 

By this point Corey and I were both crying, and then I saw Kynlee's little face peak over the surgical curtain. I spent 9 months wondering what she was going to look like, and there she was. 

{That picture right there was the first time I laid eyes on Kynlee. I know its graphic, but it's also beautiful. There was an awesome nurse who offered to document everything she could with our camera, and I'm so glad she captured this moment.}

Little Miss Kynlee was born at 5:15pm on July 2nd, 2010 at 6lbs 14oz, and 19.5 inches long. (If you're doing the math, I was wheeled into the OR at 5pm.)

{She's so gangsta lol}

The next few minutes were a blur. Corey left my side to be with Kynlee because I couldn't. 

I hadn't slept in 2 days, and it started to catch up on me at that moment, what a perfect time. I was emotionally and physically drained, even though I longed to watch them care for my daughter on the TV screen the placed next to me so I could see,  but I couldn't stay awake. I kept dozing in and out of sleep. 

Finally, they wrapped her up and handed her to Corey so he could bring her to me. 

Again, my words couldn't do this moment justice, so I will leave this one for you as well. 

It took them a while to stitch me back up and get me ready for recovery because I had hemorrhaged, and lost quite a bit of blood, which would leave me anemic for weeks to come, but thats a different story.

I can't remember too much of the hour I spent in the recovery room because I was so exhausted. I kept falling asleep. I'm pretty sure at one point a nurse was holding Kynlee as she nursed because I had passed out. 

We couldn't leave the recovery room until I could move my legs and didn't feel nauseas, but that took a while because of all the blood loss. Finally we were sent up to the mother-baby unit where our family was waiting for us. 

Visitation hours ended at 8:30 and we didn't get there until 8:15, so sadly, they couldn't stay long. This terrified me, because I was planning on having someone around to help me with the baby. I had never even held a baby, and now I had one to look after and take care of. How was I supposed to know what to do by myself? 

After the family left a nurse came in to talk to us a little about basic care, and to give Kynlee a bath. It took everything I had in me to stay awake while she was talking. Finally around 3am we were left alone to sleep....Yeah right, there wasn't much sleep going on that night. It was a blur of nurses coming in and out when I felt nauseas, and  giving me pain meds, and a few brief minutes of sleep, followed by waking up with every sound Kynlee made. 

I won't tell you everything about our stay in the hospital, because it was pretty much 5 days of exactly what I just described, mixed with visitors here and there. Not to mention by the time we left the hospital I had a total of 12 hours of sleep in 5 days. 

Before having Kynlee I was terrified at what kind of mother I would be. Like I said, I had NEVER held a baby. Kynlee was my first. Not to sound cliche, but the parenting really did come out naturally. I loved that little girl from second I heard her cry. I knew I would do whatever it took to protect her, and I would provide her with so much love she would get annoyed with it one day. 

Kynlee's birthday was a very special day, and I'm glad I was able to put most of it into words to share it with you. 

I never imagined becoming a mother so early in life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have truly been blessed with this little girl. I can't believe she is almost 6 months old, it doesn't seem possible. 


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