Friday, December 17, 2010

A Baby Story.

I can't believe Kynlee will be 6 months old in a few short weeks. Time has gone by so fast since our pumpkin graced us with her presence. With Kynlee's half-birthday quickly approaching, it brings back memories of the day she was born.

I felt the need to re-visit her birth story, because I don't feel like I shared that day properly in one of my first posts. 

I remember this day like it was yesterday, because it feels like yesterday. This might get a little lengthy, or some might find it boring. Feel free to move on, but this was an important day for my family, and I felt the need to have it documented somewhere:

I had moved to Asheville for the summer because there weren't any doctors in Boone accepting patients at the time, and my mom had a place for me to live, and I could go back to the same job I had been working for four years. Corey and I didn't want to be away from each other, so he transfered to the Outback in Asheville and lived with me at my mom's for the summer, so everything worked out nicely.

I was the manager at the Black Mountain Pool, like I had been for a few years, and I was planning on taking my leave starting July 9th. I wanted to have a couple weeks of nothing but relaxation before my due date on July 21st, but Kynlee had other plans for me. 

my baby bump at 35 weeks.

Corey decided he wanted to take a trip home to spend time with his family before we became parents, and wouldn't be able to travel as often, so he was in Dobson for the night, which is about thirty minutes outside of Winston-Salem. We joked that I would go into labor the one time he decided to go out of town, but we still had 3 weeks so we thought we would be fine. 

That was the first night we had spent away from each other since being married, so I was pretty bummed, but I figured a good book and a bath would cheer me up. Something was a little off that night, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. While I was in the bath, I was having what felt like very mild period cramps, but I passed them off as Braxton-hicks contractions.  I didn't really know what contractions felt like, I just assumed from movies I've seen, or stories I had heard, that they would hurt, so I would know.

I went to work the next day, still feeling like something was strange, so around 3pm I finally decided to give my doctor a call. I described to her what was going on, and she said to go ahead and come in just to get checked out.  Corey was on his way home at this point, so when I called and told him I was heading into the doctor, I think he broke a few speed records to get home in time to go with me. 

Corey packed a hospital bag before we went to the doctor just in case, but I didn't really feel the need to. I had a faint idea that I might be having this baby sooner than expected, but I put it in the back of my head, thinking there was no way I was having her that soon. 

After getting checked out by my doctor we found out that apparently my water had broken the night before. I was shocked! The movies make the water breaking so dramatic, with the woman looking shocked and wide-eyed, looking at her husband saying "honey it's time," then rushing to the hospital to arrive just in time. That was so not what happened with me!
 I wasn't dilated at all, so we agreed that I needed to go to the hospital and get induced to prevent any infections to Kynlee since it had been almost 24 hours since my water had broken. I believe I was in shock, because I remember asking if I needed to let my other manager know that I wasn't coming into work the next day. Of course I wasn't going to work the next day, I was having a freaking baby!

Corey called everyone letting them know to get ready while I was still in shock, or amazement, or excitement, I really can't tell. All I knew was that moment made it all real. That was the moment I realized that I had a baby inside of me, and she was going to be in my arms very soon. 

I didn't have a bag packed for the hospital because I thought I still had time to do that, so I just got a few things and figured my mom could bring the rest of it later. I did however shower and shave my legs. Come on people I worked outside all day, and I didn't want to be nasty when I got there. 

We arrived at the hospital around 7:30pm on July 1st, and our room was ready and waiting for us.

{Ignore the pregnant fat-face, as I referred to it}

I knew all along that I would have to be hooked up to an IV. I kept telling Corey that's what I was scared of the most, because I hate needles! It's not the pain I'm scared of, because I have a very high pain tolerance, but it's the needle itself. The thought of being stabbed with something makes me sick to my stomach. Luck wasn't on my side that night because it took 3 nurses and 2 IV specialist to finally get an IV in a vein. I begged them to let my mother-in-law do it because she is a nurse and she has done all of Corey's IV's, but it was against their hospital policy. 

If you're counting the bandages, thats 5 in the picture. I had 2 more before they got it right. I was so weak from this ordeal, again not from the pain, but the idea of being stuck with a needle seven times. I wish we had a picture of them sticking me while I had a wet washcloth behind my neck and on my forehead, with Corey holding my hand. 

They hooked me up to two incredibly uncomfortable monitors, one for my contractions, and one for Baby K's heart rate. These things were ridiculous. They're huge and they are strapped on with a velcro waistband that doesn't stay in place very well on a pregnant tummy. Every time I moved, the nurse, or myself had to find Kynlee's heartbeat again. At first I didn't have the cordless kind, so I was hooked into a machine, that I had to unplug every time I needed to go to the bathroom, which is a billion times when you're 9 months pregnant. Not to mention, the monitors make the already un-flattering hospital gown even more unflattering.

{These are very unflattering, but a good representation of the monitors, and ugly gowns. No, I am not that large! If you look closely, you can see two monitors poking out.}

I have had a history of sleep problems, and I wasn't expecting this to change for my first stay in a hospital bed. Luckily the nurse was kind enough to hook me up with some sleep medication, which made me drowsy before my head even hit the pillow. Well, that lasted for all about 10 minutes before I was wide awake, and I remained that way for hours. I was only experiencing minor contractions, but they weren't enough to keep me awake, I just couldn't sleep. The heart monitors didn't help the comfort either.
Sometime around 4 am the nurse came in to find me awake so she offered another dose of sleep medication. Again, I got drowsy before my head hit the pillow, and again 10 minutes later, I was still wide awake. 

Luckily Corey was able to catch some shut-eye, and my mother-in-law slept in the waiting room, and my mom went home for the night. Everyone got sleep but me, and I needed it the most. Despite having the strongest sleep medication offered for pregnant women, I got about 1 1/2 hours of sleep total, so I was exhausted come morning time. 

The doctor checked to see my progress around 8am the next morning. I was hoping after being on pitocin for 12 hours I would have dilated a little, but no such luck. Because I had been ruptured so long, they kicked up the pitocin some more to try and get the labor started. 

I had planned on getting a pedicure during my two weeks of relaxation, and I was super bummed that I had ugly toes when we got to the hospital. But, I have an awesome husband. No need to explain, just look at the picture.

That's right ladies, be jealous! (Notice the ugly swollen pregnant feet)

Throughout the day, I still wasn't feeling any contractions. The only time I felt them was when I laid on my side. But even though I wasn't feeling them, the monitor showed that I was clearly having them.

4 pm was coming up, and that would mean that my water had been broken for 48 hours, which was starting to get a little dangerous for Kynlee.

The word C-section kept popping up in the back of my mind the whole day, but I kept trying to push it out (no pun intended) because I didn't want to accept it.

After being checked one more time, I hadn't even dilated 1 cm. I knew what the doctor was going to say before the words even came out of her mouth. As soon as she walked out to get things prepared, I started bawling. This wasn't the way things were supposed to go. I was supposed to have this perfect delivery that I had imagined for 9 months. In every pregnancy book or website I read, I always skipped over the c-section chapters because I knew it wouldn't happen to me.

I didn't have time to stay upset long because my surgery was scheduled to begin at 5pm. We said a little prayer, and then they got me prepared and wheeled me off to the operating room.

To say I was scared would be an understatement. Being scared of needles seemed like a tiny detail at this point. I was about to have someone open me up, while I was awake for the whole thing. 

The operating room is not a friendly place. It's intimidating. Think of any doctor show you've seen, it's just like on the TV. Everything was white, and sterile, and unwelcoming. There were about 15 faceless people behind surgical masks, all whom were trying to be friendly, but it didn't help much. Corey wasn't allowed to come in with me while they prepped me. 

When a vaginal birth was still optional, an epidural was never not an option for me. I thought I would try to go without one, then get it if I needed to. I kinda wished I had that option at that point, because now I was looking at getting a spinal block which would completely numb me from my belly-button to my toes. I didn't even try to look around for the needle because I knew if I saw it then I wouldn't be able to go through with it. They gave me a numbing shot first which only felt like a bee-sting, and I didn't look at it so I was fine. 
However, after I got the spinal block, my body started to feel strange. I can only compare it to getting numbed at the dentist. As I lay on the table waiting for the feeling to go away I started to get really nervous and freak out, but then my knight and shining armor walked through the door to make me feel better. 

Corey was able to make me laugh because he looked so funny in his surgical outfit. He had shorts on, so it looked like he didn't have anything on underneath his gown. 

Corey was awesome, he calmed me down, holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be ok. 

The doctor told me he was going to poke around my body, and I had to tell him if I felt anything. The first time he poked me I started to freak out because I felt it, and I didn't want them to cut anything on my body if I still had feeling, but after a few seconds I didn't feel the second round of pokes. 

Then it was time. This was a time in my life where I was most vulnerable. I was scared, anxious, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I knew no matter how horribly scared I was, I was going to have my baby girl as a result. There was no turning back.

The next few minutes were a blur. I remember a lot of tugging, and pressure, and holding Corey's hand. I remember at one point asking how much longer, and I got a response of about 15 seconds. I couldn't believe how fast it went by. 

Those were the strangest 15 seconds of my life. They were long, but passed too quickly at the same time. They were the last 15 seconds of my life that I wasn't a parent, that it was just me and Corey. I went through a list of expectations, anxieties,  and fears, all within a quarter of a minute.... Then I felt a big tug, and I heard a cry...

That is something I can't describe. I really don't even know how to put into words the emotions that are enflicted within you when you hear your child cry for the first time. I don't even feel like I could do that moment justice by trying to explain it to you, so I will leave it for you to hopefully find out one day. 

By this point Corey and I were both crying, and then I saw Kynlee's little face peak over the surgical curtain. I spent 9 months wondering what she was going to look like, and there she was. 

{That picture right there was the first time I laid eyes on Kynlee. I know its graphic, but it's also beautiful. There was an awesome nurse who offered to document everything she could with our camera, and I'm so glad she captured this moment.}

Little Miss Kynlee was born at 5:15pm on July 2nd, 2010 at 6lbs 14oz, and 19.5 inches long. (If you're doing the math, I was wheeled into the OR at 5pm.)

{She's so gangsta lol}

The next few minutes were a blur. Corey left my side to be with Kynlee because I couldn't. 

I hadn't slept in 2 days, and it started to catch up on me at that moment, what a perfect time. I was emotionally and physically drained, even though I longed to watch them care for my daughter on the TV screen the placed next to me so I could see,  but I couldn't stay awake. I kept dozing in and out of sleep. 

Finally, they wrapped her up and handed her to Corey so he could bring her to me. 

Again, my words couldn't do this moment justice, so I will leave this one for you as well. 

It took them a while to stitch me back up and get me ready for recovery because I had hemorrhaged, and lost quite a bit of blood, which would leave me anemic for weeks to come, but thats a different story.

I can't remember too much of the hour I spent in the recovery room because I was so exhausted. I kept falling asleep. I'm pretty sure at one point a nurse was holding Kynlee as she nursed because I had passed out. 

We couldn't leave the recovery room until I could move my legs and didn't feel nauseas, but that took a while because of all the blood loss. Finally we were sent up to the mother-baby unit where our family was waiting for us. 

Visitation hours ended at 8:30 and we didn't get there until 8:15, so sadly, they couldn't stay long. This terrified me, because I was planning on having someone around to help me with the baby. I had never even held a baby, and now I had one to look after and take care of. How was I supposed to know what to do by myself? 

After the family left a nurse came in to talk to us a little about basic care, and to give Kynlee a bath. It took everything I had in me to stay awake while she was talking. Finally around 3am we were left alone to sleep....Yeah right, there wasn't much sleep going on that night. It was a blur of nurses coming in and out when I felt nauseas, and  giving me pain meds, and a few brief minutes of sleep, followed by waking up with every sound Kynlee made. 

I won't tell you everything about our stay in the hospital, because it was pretty much 5 days of exactly what I just described, mixed with visitors here and there. Not to mention by the time we left the hospital I had a total of 12 hours of sleep in 5 days. 

Before having Kynlee I was terrified at what kind of mother I would be. Like I said, I had NEVER held a baby. Kynlee was my first. Not to sound cliche, but the parenting really did come out naturally. I loved that little girl from second I heard her cry. I knew I would do whatever it took to protect her, and I would provide her with so much love she would get annoyed with it one day. 

Kynlee's birthday was a very special day, and I'm glad I was able to put most of it into words to share it with you. 

I never imagined becoming a mother so early in life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have truly been blessed with this little girl. I can't believe she is almost 6 months old, it doesn't seem possible. 


  1. This was by far my favorite post! :) Thank you for sharing how amazing that experience was!

  2. Thank you Brittany :) I'm glad I was finally able to sit down and write about it.

  3. Hi you have a beautiful daughter. Nice baby pictures and God Bless her.

  4. I just read this and cried like a baby! =)



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