Thursday, January 27, 2011

One Thing I've Learned...

A funny thing happens when you become a parent, you learn who your real friends are. I can't think of a more simple way to put it. 

When I first learned that I was going to be a parent, one of the many worries in my head were of "losing myself," wondering if I would ever have time for me again. These thoughts were quickly laid to rest, because I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. Being a mom is who I am. I guess you could say I found myself in Kynlee.I realized I had to lose a few things along the way though. 

I lost the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, like sleep, shopping, working out, you get the idea. However, I'm not complaining about losing these things, because everything I have gained, outweighs what I have lost. I would like a little more sleep, but that is a whole different topic I won't bother you with right now. Losing those details, were nothing to losing friends. 

When I got pregnant, I had so many friends that were just as happy as I was. I had friends who would soon be "aunt" or "uncle" to my baby, and I was excited. Excited at the show of love and support. Excited that even though my life would be very different, I had a hope of my friendships not changing.

Boy was I wrong. I quickly realized some people aren't meant to be a huge part of your life, and some people provide more meaningful, lasting relationships than others. I still have a few friends in Boone that I see every once in a while, and I am so grateful for them. I also have those that I grew up with, who will always be in my life, and I have also gained the friendships of fellow mommies, even if I can only communicate with them online, it's still worth it, because they understand a bit more than anyone else.

Some days I don't mind so much, being an only child can sometimes make me a bit of a homebody. On these days, nothing makes me happier than spending time with my Kynlee Bear, and the hubs. Then there are days when I think about all of the good times I used to have with a plethora of friends, and those are the days where I get sad.

I keep reminding myself that I have a completely different life than I used to, and with that will come with different company. I feel like all of this longing for my old circle of friends would go away if I didn't live in Boone anymore, where I'm surrounded by students who don't relate to my lifestyle. I really wish I had a mommy friend up here :(

I did what I could to keep the friend flames burning, but wasn't met with a mutual desire in most cases.. In the end, I'm not resentful. I understand I have a different purpose in life, and some wouldn't be able to keep up with that lifestyle. To the friends who have stuck by my side, thank you, you know who you are, and even though we don't get to see each other often, I hope you all know how grateful I am for a random lunch date, or a quick visit to my apartment. Thank you. I'm also grateful for the handful of mommies whom I knew growing up but now have a link with, or the ones I have met online, and even though we only communicate through the internet, I know they are there to talk if I need to.

Wow! Sorry for such a depressing post! To someone reading my blog, it would seem like I have been sulking lately, I promise I'm not going to go jump off of a bridge anytime soon, just nice to have somewhere to vent!

And I always have this face to cheer me up!

Friend Finding Fridays


  1. I think that changes in our friendships is one of the hardest things we go through as humans...We are constantly losing and gaining, growing closer and farther apart. What you are experiecing now is something that you would have experienced even if you were 25 when you got married and had is human nature that we are closest to the people that we can share life experiences with. It is true, there are those one or maybe two "life long" friends, that no matter what, they are there for you. But those are the exception, not the rule. I was the first of my friends to get married and have a baby too, so I can kind of relate. It will get better when you move out of the college town and into a community with all the other young mamas- Great post- Something that everyone can relate to!

  2. Once again, we relate. I'm not doing the college thing at the moment, but I totally know what insanely busy is and how you lose friends when kids come. I don't have any friends I see ever really. Play dates seem to only happen in the summer and even those are few and far between. Also, the majority of moms I know live at home's two very different things to live at home with your kid/s or on your own with them. It's very convenient to always have extra eyes around. You can catch a shower, etc. Someone makes sure dinner is put on the table. Others help contribute to the bills. You get the drift...even though they're a mom and I'm a mom we relate on 2 very different levels. I went from high-school student to mommy overnight and one week later to mommy and housewife. I moved to the other side of the state where I knew no one with my husband and my week old baby. All while everyone I grew up with back at home was still going to school everyday. Big lifestyle change and I pretty much lost all my friends at that point. It's funny how I can spend all day everyday with 3 kids and still sometimes find myself lonely....

  3. Courtney,
    This post made me very sad..I wish that I had more time to come and stay with you and Kynlee. I love you both very much! I think that we have had ups and downs in our friendship but you mean a lot to me and I would do anything for you whenever you needed me! And I would call more but I never want to wake up Kynlee! I think about you all a lot! I love ya!! One day I will have a baby (hopefully!) and you can have baby #2! Then we will be "Mommy" friends!



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...