Saturday, January 22, 2011

I don't know what to title this.

I have no doubt that this will be the most random blog post you have ever read, but it's my blog so I can do what I want :)

 I have been feeling a lack of passion lately...for life, for school, or my blog. I'm in a funk I guess, and it has disturbed me to the point that I could not find the means to bring back the flame. Everything has been crazy. School is getting really hard, and Kynlee decided to go on another sleep strike while the hubs was sick for a week. I've cried...a lot. I've been wanting to find a way out of everything, but life isn't that easy, so I had to put on mybig-girl-panties (btw, I hate loathe the word panties, I always have. But that is how the phrase goes, so I had to say it, right?) and learn to pick myself up and get out of this emotional mess. 

I knew this semester was going to be hard, but I had no clue I was going to be freaking out after the first 2 weeks. My classes require me to devote a lot of free time that I don't have to studying or reading. Before I became a parent, I was able to spend hours studying after school, but now I'm changing diapers, playing peek-a-boo, or consoling a crying baby. I was hoping to spend what free time I do have at the gym, but instead, I'm afraid I will need to spend it on my studies. 

At least I'm able to have a break from watching K now that the hubs isn't sick anymore. It was horrible, I felt so bad for him, and it wasn't easy on either of us. K still sleeps in our room, so Corey has had to sleep on the couch the past week because he can't stop coughing. Not that I've really been sleeping. K picked the best time to go on another sleep!

It was a struggle to get her to sleep, and a struggle to keep her asleep. Since Corey was sick, I tried to let him rest as much as I could by staying up with her...every night...for a week. I was so tired. So tired I cried. So tired, I struggle to stay awake in class. So tired that instead of picking her up from day care after class, I came back to the apartment and took the world's greatest nap. She did eventually get over the strike, as soon as Corey got better, of course.

I at least have one good thing to share: we have gotten Kynlee on a real schedule. She eats, sleeps, and wakes up at the same time every day! It is very refreshing. Before she was in childcare we had no structure to our day. She napped when she got tired, ate whenever she got hungry, and went to bed whenever she couldn't stay awake any longer. Child care has been a really good thing for us, because we have to get her there the same time every morning, which means she wakes up at the same time, meaning she does everything else (napping, eating) at the same time every day. It's really nice, and really convenient. K used to go to bed anywhere from 11-2am, now she goes to bed from 8:30-9! Even though we have to get up early on the weekends, having free time at night is heaven. 

I'm so happy Kynlee can sit up on her own now. She's been able to for weeks, but now she stays sitting up and plays by herself. It's nice that I can leave her sitting up to do something around the apartment instead of having to sit close to her to catch her when she falls. 

She amazes me how quickly she learns and grows. I remember telling Corey a week or two ago, that I couldn't wait until she could sit up longer, that it felt like she should be doing it already, and the next day she sat up for 30 minutes just playing. 

 {She makes some crazy faces}

It's rare that I get her to smile anymore, she usually ends up giving me this soultry, I know I'm attractive model face, or it's just that she see's the camera all the time, and is tired of smiling for it. 

She is very close to crawling. She crawled backwards one time, all the way from one edge of the rug to the other. But I think it was just a fluke, because she hasn't done it again. I'm fine with her not crawling yet, she can take her time. That just means she will stay put where I place her. Except for rolling around and scooting everywhere, I don't have to keep up with her too much. 

She is such a little bit. Around 4-5 months she had grown some respectable thunder things, now those things are history, replaced by scrawny legs. I don't know if this happened because she lost a pound from being sick, or if she wasn't meant to be a chubby baby, but she is tiny! She is the same size as a couple of 3-4 month olds that I know. She can even still wear some 3-6 month clothing. There is another 6-month old at daycare that makes her look like a dwarf. . Her feet still don't touch the ground without help in her jumper.

I told you this was the most random blog post ever, and I really don't even know how to end it. I feel like this post is just as blah has my life has been lately. Forgive me if I conclude this without an eloquent, life-altering ending.

The end? 


  1. Hi, Courtney! I don't have much by way of encouragement b/c it sounds like getting the baby back on schedule was all that was needed. :) I know school seems like a never-ending ordeal, but you'll be so proud when everything is completed. The gym will still be there. ;) Your little girl is so pretty! Thanks so much for linking up to my party. I hope you'll stop by Serenity Now again soon! :)

  2. Thanks for keeping it real! I have been having lots of weepy days recently too. Its ok, we are aloud. And to write about any dang random thing we want to write about!
    PS Your daughter is a DOLL!



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